Connecting Communication

Most of us who have left behind traditional means of discipline, feel unprepared to handle the difficulties of raising children, and are unaware of any good alternatives. 

We often find ourselves yelling, yet we know it harms our relationship AND our child’s developing brain. Yelling takes its toll on our emotional health – but it also undermines our influence and damages our relationship with our kids. It also will be imitated by our kids. The brain is a relational organ. Neuroscience today shows relationships shape the developing brain. LOVE and KINDNESS help to GROW a child’s brain.

If a child’s needs are met with empathy, guidance, and love, and nurtured by a close connection then his brain produces love hormones that help the brain regulate and produce the conditions ready for learning.

In general, many people consider themselves to be great communicators. What they usually mean by that is that they are articulate, or speak a lot. But that is not what good communication is about. Words don’t have the desired effect when they are not perceived along with the underlying intentions of the speaker. Words harm relationships when feelings of frustration and anger take control over the words you chose. 

Connecting Communication
Connecting Communication Carla Van Walsum

Connecting Communication enhances compassion, harmony and joy in the family. 

You can only raise your child once.

Respect is at the basis of bridging the gap:

  • Between a parent and a child is a space.
  • In that space, a bridge can be built
  • That bridge creates connection.

If you:

  • feel unheard
  • feel frustrated
  • feel stressed and without resources
  • want more choice
  • desire more recognition
  • have unmet needs
  • have frequent power struggles
  • want to install intrinsic respect in your child

Then join us in this Effective Communication workshop-class, partially based on the Nonviolent Communication of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.

Six (6) 90-minute classes:

1. Clear Observation without evaluation, criticism, judgment, analysis or comparison. Unlearn the way we usually respond, but disconnect each from each other.

  • Understanding these differences 
  • Learning about the detriments – dependent on approval
  • Honestly expressing yourself – hurt free, and empathically receiving.
  • Learning compassion, empathy, and self-compassion. What do feelings tell us.

2. Feelings are true expressions of who we are.  Our own experiences and inherited patterns stored in the brain impact our emotional lives. And our family.

  • Replace implanted beliefs and patterns from our childhood.
  • Blame and shame deleted from your communication all together. They have the lowest vibrational energy
  • Responding to, and dealing with anger. 
  • No manipulation, but authentic expressions.

3. Take responsibility for your needs. Have them met in a peaceful way. It truly helps us understand each other in a way we never thought was possible

  • Discover the rich variety of unconscious needs that dominate our life.
  • Often our judgments of others mask our own unmet needs. 
  • Know and value your needs, no one else will take care of them 24/7
  • How to respond to unmet needs, of others.

4. Requests. Friendly and kind. 

Saying things in a friendly manner, still doesn’t mean there is no manipulation or bribing involved. 
  • No force, no bribing, no threatening to get your needs met.
  • Steps for intrinsic respect – no entitlement.
  • Clear communication.
  • Kindness and compassion.

5. Punished by Rewards.

The consequences of conditional- and unconditional love on the development of the child.

  • The joy and privilege of learning.
  • The reward of doing mitzvot and chores.
  • Intrinsic respect for self, for all people, and the environment.
  • Parenting is about self-reflecting.

6. Practicum and role-play of the process.

A fun class of working out all we’ve learned.  Bring in your topics, questions or real daily life situations to work on.

  • Practice
  • practice
  • practice
  • practice! 

If you have questions, please email