My Sibling and I
Siblings… It is the most profound, unique relationship that is closer, harder, finer, sweeter, sadder, happier, and more filled with joy or pain, and anger that we experience with our brothers and sisters.
Spending time during the holidays with one or several siblings should really be a joy. This digital recording is an exercise based on an energetic principle that could shift issues drastically. Other deeper causes of particular sibling issues need to be addressed in (a) private session(s).
In a healthy sibling bond, there is power. Siblings stay longer with us than our parents, our spouses, or our children. Yet, it can be the closest, happiest relationship, or one that bothers us a LOT for years, and years… Think about sibling rivalry and bullying.
After we are born, the competition for the attention of our parents can become a trigger for fights. Our behavior doesn’t differ so much from the animal kingdom when it comes to sibling rivalry. Though parents often deny it, they overwhelmingly favor one child over others.
A study found that 70 % of fathers and 65% of mothers have a preference for at least one child. Yes, as much as we like to deny it!
The most common favorite for a mother is the firstborn son. For the father, the last-born daughter. However, there are so many reasons for favoring children, I won’t even start to describe them.
What is also true, is that if you are the least favorable, or the ‘black sheep‘, you may carry this blueprint for the rest of your life. If your mom wasn’t happy to discover she was pregnant with you, it’s even worse. At least you know that you are not the only one with such experiences. There are many of us in this situation, or worse.
Being the least favorable of the children is a hurdle. But, like many challenges, it can also enrich your life. It can give you opportunities you might have never faced otherwise or never encountered. These could lead to your moment of deep personal growth and self-discovery.
In the book “Thank God I…. series, in which I published a section, the chapters all began with: Thank God I…”Fill in the blank with the problem you’ve experienced. ” For this topic, it might be: “Thank God I was bullied by a sibling.” All of the stories were personal experiences, including all of their tragedy and drama, but the twist was that the author was able to turn the pain around and made it a life-enriching experience. Often the chapters became powerful moments of inspirational teaching.
More than a century ago great classical scientific works were written by the famous doctors Alfred Adler and Karl König. Well worth reading if you want to learn more about the reasons for rivalry and bonding. They cover and explain the detrimental effects of sibling bullying and how it can be very significant in one’s personality development. Accordingly, birth placement in a row of children matters as well.
Popular psychology has made it so that we all know the characteristics of the eldest child, the middle child, and the youngest one. It seems that these roles repeat when there are more children in one family.
We can look at what was missing. We can count our blessings. We also can look further into these relationships to come to a deeper understanding of ourselves – and our sibling(s).
Today, there is awakening interest in the effects of trauma that parents may carry, how it could impact their children, and how they can change it.
On another note, the parental palette with projections of wishes, dreams, and frustrations a child is subjected to, are no less important. Think about parents who lived in poverty and suffering, some pressured and pushed their children into professions that didn’t fit them. Using a belt or other corporal punishment. Punishing children receiving for less than an “A” in school. Manipulation, guilt, and frustration.
It all affects sibling relationships. And as in any important relationship: healing is possible. Changing viewpoints and expectations, are definitely an option. A personal choice. Working through issues with a sibling or siblings can be hugely beneficial.
A consoling ironic phrase is this: “Your friends are God’s way to apologize for your relatives.”
If you would like any improvement in a sibling relationship, energy psychology can be a helpful tool. There is one mp3 that has been proven to be beneficial.
In the private session(s) together we can find tools that will be customized to your needs.
Coping strategies, forgiveness, clearing the clutter, and opening our hearts to what is truly there, are life-enriching!
Renewed energy can flow. The energy of love. The energy of peace.
1 MP3 $9.97
1 MP3 + Private session $117