Carla Van Walsum, Ph.D.

The Joy of Siblings.

The Joy of Siblings.

Siblings, Family relationships, family constellations

Just came back from teaching in college an experiential workshop “Unlock the Hidden Wisdom of your Energy-fields”. A theme that was brought up by one of the students “J”: “sibling rivalry and jealousy”. Thefamily constellations relationship between J and her sister was burdened by negativity and the youngest, J, indicated she wanted to have a happier relationship with her only sibling. She has practiced forgiveness but needed more work to do, she suggested. “J” appeared as extremely friendly and smiling a lot. She explicitly smiled when she was telling me and the group how painful it was for her.

Case: Two sisters, one year apart, both now in their twenties. The youngest sister was present in my class. Parents have compared both girls a lot, the eldest did many things which were perceived as “wrong” by the parents, so they limited the younger one in much. Elements as guilt, and aloofness were part in the elder sister, with the youngest “J” sadness, and strongly present.

Resolution: The moment J acknowledged and allowed her self to feel the sadness and pain about the relationship, her constant smiling changed into real connection with herself. Looking and embracing “Forgiveness” made her stronger, and “Sadness” and “Jealousy” weakened and left the Morphogenetic field.

Yes, often Forgiveness and Letting Go which never is the same as “condoning” offer the key to healing. Another aspect is the CONSCIOUS knowing NOT to criticize your children when you raise them. There are many ways to teach your children to be on a path of success without taking away their self confidence and self-love.
Never compare your children, allow them to be their brightest selves.
Comparison alienates us from each other,it  is judgmental and does NOT contribute to feeling better and harmonious within oneself. Who are we to compare people anyway...
Live and breathe respect for each others differences instead of differentiate and separate. The more jealousy and blame you see occurring between siblings, the more you need to look into how and what are the ways you as a parent talk to them, acknowledge them. Observing children offers a mirror of wisdom.

Siblings, Family relationships, family constellations



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