Carla Van Walsum, Ph.D.

Do expectations make sense?

Do expectations make sense?

Recently at our Recharge Your Energy group an interesting question arose. “To avoid being hurt, isn’t it better to just not expect something you’d like to happen- then you won’t get disappointed? Many people have told me it’s best to not expect anything”.

My first answer to that was: “If you want something and you don’t expect it to happen, how likely would it be that it could come to fruition? Imagine you’re getting married, and you don’t expect to be happy – why would you get married?”

I believe that expectations need to be connected to reason and reality. Reality is relative of course because everyone’s reality is different. However, reason needs to contain clear action(s) that need to be taken, in order to obtain the required results.

The reasoning, for instance, would be that if you want to have a happy marriage, you need to be kind, compassionate, and invest emotionally in whatever way, shape or form is necessary.

If you plant something, you expect it to grow as long as you nurture it in fertile soil. If you don’t water a plant; don’t expect it to grow.

On a deeper level regarding the manifestations we’d like to see, we can do something a little differently.

For instance, it may be a dream job we wish we could land. Or maybe it’s a great relationship we long for. When the desire is vaguer, it is harder to manifest it.

So, clarity about the topic is key. If we approach this as a goal then energetic components will be important. Visualize your wish, and add strong positive emotions to it as if you already possess it.

Then you can release the wish with trust while staying detached from the outcome -meaning: the HOW, WHEN, and WHERE.

Remember, following the common mentality that everything should happen quickly, preferably within 15 minutes (or at least today) is unrealistic, demanding, and claiming is NOT positive fertilizer.

Dream and expect to get nudges when it’s time to take action. That’s exactly all it takes.

Don’t ignore or second guess the nudges. Don’t give up and adopt a negative mindset such as “It wasn’t meant to be”, but recognize and accept the honest realization; “I didn’t take the required action.”

Go ahead and make big plans and dreams, they can all be achieved, but first, clear any underlying negative inherited patterns you may be holding on to. You don’t want to block your success!

Need help with clearing? I do it daily on ZOOM. I would love to help you too!

After a long pandemic break – we finally do LIVE workshops: SYSTEMIC WORK & CONSTELLATIONS in Boca Raton, Florida. For more info: Calendar  

Read more about Systemic Work & Constellations:

Sending you Love and Kindness,



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