What story do you tell yourself?

What story do you tell yourself?

Oh, how powerful our minds are! The stories we tell ourselves, the ones created by our own life experiences (how we perceive and digest things) or even our subconsciously inherited thoughts and beliefs, determine our lives., our successes, our relationships, and even our health.
When we are able to change our own story it is always eye-opening and often freeing. 
Generally, it is pretty difficult to do.  Our self-talk is very good at repeating the same thing over and over again keeping us stuck. 

In group constellation sessions the truth of a story can become visible, right in your face, but it takes effort to adapt it to your reality. Insights are brought to the surface first before change can occur.

That is also very true for facing inherited trauma.  

This kind of transgenerational trauma is particularly fascinating and actually can only get clear using the technique of systemic constellations.  One of the four unconscious themes is: “Identification with a family member”. That could be a parent and anyone who belonged to one of the few generations before you. That identification could be burdening you and diverting you from your life’s path, or personal fate.

Often the sentence: “I take (or claim) my own fate” is a powerful and effective healing sentence that is effective when used during a constellation session. 

Briefly said: negative painful things that happened in the past few generations that haven’t been healed, acknowledged, or brought to the light, can be taken up by a younger family member, like yourself. The system wants to be in balance.  Justice, acknowledgment, and freeing yourself from the burden can be done by employing several simple rituals.

Sexual issues that someone experiences today can be related to sexual abuse, or it could be from the rape of an aunt, grandma, or even grandpa,  that has never been addressed, punished, or apologized for. Often these things were swept under the rug of shame, and fear. The more secretively it was hidden, the greater the chances are that the consequences will be carried over to a future person.

Phobias are often a great example of inherited trauma. Are you afraid of – certain dogs – but have never been bothered by them? Nine times out of ten it’s an inherited story. I’ve seen many phobias evaporate after a constellation.

Financial debacles you may experience today can often be related to dishonest money use by a family member in the past. Of course, these things were usually hidden, and thus become secrets. So if you sense that you block financial abundance, of course you will want to do a constellation.

Failing or troubled relationships also often find their roots in generational problems and tend to repeat themselves over and over again. Until they are addressed and the culprit is discovered.

It is considered that trauma is energy,  it is stored in the brain and in the body. We often feel it in our hearts. 

As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk states: “Trauma is actually not the story of what happened a long time ago, but the residue that’s living inside of you now”. 

Because trauma continues to live inside of a person, fragmenting memory, and distorting perception, taking up critical space and determining our responses.  Trauma disconnects us and damages our trust, our connections, and relationships. Therefore there is less resilience, possibly contributing to our staying stuck in feelings of victimhood, and eventually more trauma.

Our nervous system keeps track of all those experiences, and our energies hold onto the stories, until we move toward change, transformation and healing.
By healing ourselves, we heal a part of the collective. 

My next newsletter will be about healing collective trauma – a vast field of information and wisdom!

Are you ready to learn or experience more? Come to our next workshop: 

or reply to this email if you are interested in ZOOM constellations.